Amy McCready, Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and the author of “If I Have To Tell You One More Time…The Revolutionary Program To Get Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling”. (Penguin, 2011); shares the top 3 mistakes parents make when attempting to ‘tame’ the tantrums! As a “recovering yeller,” Amy is a champion of positive parenting techniques for happy families and well-behaved kids. Her award-winning online course empowers parents worldwide to correct their kids’ misbehaviors without nagging, reminding or yelling.
Ever feel like you live with a volcano? And at the slightest misstep—for instance, serving a side of green beans for dinner instead of cheese puffs—your child will spew hot ash (or emit glass-breaking screams while kicking the wall hard enough to leave a mark) all over the house?
Whether you’re dealing with toddlers that refuse to wear clothes or teens that won’t do their homework, the emotion-filled explosion known as a tantrum is unmistakable—but it can be escapable. In this two-part series, we’ll take a look at the “why’s” of tantrums, and give you some hope—through strategies you can put to use right away—that your child doesn’t always have to erupt into a meltdown every time you say the word, “no.”
First, let’s look at what parents do to make tantrums worse. Remember, you can’t control another person—but you can control yourself. Avoid these three mistakes, and you’re well on your way to cooling the hot tempers in your own home.
- Tantrum-Taming Mistake #1: Extinguishing the emotion. In the same way you can’t make Emily understand that no, she can never roller-skate through the house, you also won’t be able to get her to think rationally about whether or not she should be screaming until she turns purple. Your well-meant, “It’s okay, have a drink of water, want to do a puzzle?” and so forth will fall on deaf ears (or get drowned out). It’s because your child is in a state of high emotion, and can’t logically consider your words. What’s more, by providing feedback, you reinforce the bad behavior by letting her know a tantrum is a great way to get your attention.
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